Future & Uncertainties

It has been awhile since I last blogged, but, I still want to wait until I have everything figured out first …

This is so my heart. I hate uncertainties. I like them only enough to feel like I am growing in faith and that I trust God more with my life. But in reality, I am still a control-freak and I hate uncertainies. Oh, did I already say that?

As I am evaluating what may happen later half of this year, and what possibilies lay ahead in 2012, I am really nervous, because it’s really hard for me to imagine what it will be like.

In the bigger picture, I do trust God with my future, and I really do believe that God is sovereign and has it under control. I am certain that when I look back in a few years, I will find God to have been faithful, as he always proves Himself to be.

But. And this is a big but. I am still scared.

I’m afraid of how things will unfold and how it will affect the different aspects of my life. It may be that I have stayed in the same location for awhile now, that change feels uncomfortable. I’m afraid things won’t turn out the way I imagine it.

I know it’s not realistic to expect life to always turn out how I imagine it. And in my life, it has rarely been the case, but it has always been for the better. It is so true when Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

So logically speaking,

1. If God knows my heart better than myself

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.   – Psalm 139

2. If God loves me and wants the best for me

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

3. If God has the bigger and better perspective

^“The LORD reigns, he is robed in majesty;
the LORD is robed in majesty and armed with strength;
indeed, the world is established, firm and secure.” – Psalm 93:1

4. If God is sovereign and consistent above all else

“God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?” – Numbers 23:19

I have no reason not to trust Him. So, why is it so hard to trust everything to God?

Well, rather than by these promises, I depend more on what my eyes can see or how I feel. This is obviously very limited and unstable.. -_-

2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we live by faith, not by sight.”

Ah, Lord, help me to have faith and hold on to your promises.

I think about when Peter walked on water in Matthew 14:25-33, I’m sure he was scared to death, but he still took the step of faith out of the boat.

Yes, I am scared.. and I can’t answer all of the questions that my parents are asking, but perhaps I can still take the step of faith out of the boat too? Ahh..

—

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

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