Intensive Training – Day 2

I distinctly remember feeling really uncertain because I had no idea how “intensive” intensive training will be and I wondered if I would survive.

I still have one more week of work left so I have only been going after work – from 6:30pm to around 10:30pm. It hasn’t been bad, but I also haven’t been participating for the majority of the day..so what do I know, right?

I just have to say. I really like my team. I really like the people on my team, really like the dynamic of all of us. I’m so thankful because they really inspire me to be the best that I can be. I love that we are goofy, but at the same time, really love God. Makes me happy =)

I’m thankful because I think I wrote “team dynamic” as a prayer request on just about every prayer card I sent out.

I also really like body worship. Wow. I love it!!!! It’s wonderful how you can say and express so much without words. And I really love how the song lyrics mean so much much more to me as I’m doing relevant motions. I guess that makes me a visual learner. Ha. But really, I love it. I think it’s easier to memorize the lyrics too.

Speaking of which, since February, we have been memorizing 2 verses each week and getting tested on them. Apparently now we are supposed to memorize 1 new verse a day. HOLY MOLY!!!! I’m wondering if there’s a way to add motions to verses too, because I suck at memorizing things. But I am really thankful because I bought a verse packet 2 years ago, wanting to memorize them, but never really followed through on that. Now, I am forced to!!! YAY

Which reminds me of another thing I will be forced to do: get in shape. Wow. I have been running around a mile a day this week, just to prep myself for the hardcore exercises when I join the team in the mornings next week. I suck at pushing myself. I have no mental strength it seems. And I lack discipline. So, I’m really glad that SMP is probably going to kick my butt in terms of pushing my limit physically.

So far, I love it. Intensive training has been pushing me to do everything I have been wanting to do but haven’t had the self-discipline to do.

I also see clearly that I need to really learn to get over myself in order to grow. Just be yourself, who cares. I don’t know why I am so self-conscious all the time. It’s good to be aware of your context, but man, I’m seeing how being so insecure and self-conscious is just another form of self-obsession. Get over it already!! Who cares if your legs are a little bigger than you would like and you’ve been getting fat and are terribly out of shape. I bet you no one is really paying attention to me in the first place! So calm down and stop it.

I’m starting to get excited for Africa! Well, maybe not Africa yet, but..definitely excited for this next month of intensive!!

One prayer request is to give all of myself. It’s going to be over before I know it, so savor every moment, especially the hard ones, and give it all you’ve got. AHHH.

3 days til last day of work!
27 days til we leave for Ethiopia!!