I had another dream..

Crazy.

I was lying on a really high bed, waiting for Wednesday Prayer Meeting, then i fell off and I was trying to jump back on the bed and I couldn’t because it was really high off the ground. Then a priest looking guy (now the bed is located in some church) walks by and asks what I’m doing. I tell him I want to sleep on the really high bed. He tells me to look at the time. I grab the alarm clock to see 10:37pm. I was late for prayer meeting! I was sad that I couldn’t sleep on the high bed anymore…

There were 4 of us – Grandpa, Grandma, my mom and I were walking towards CUCC. My mom walking in front, walking decently fast like she’s kind of in a hurry. My grandpa, the one that passed away almost 2 years ago, taking slow strides behind her, but walking along with his usual content smile on his face. I was walking with my grandma behind both of them; she seemed weak, was walking slowly. I held her arm to help her and guide her. I called out to my mom to walk slower, and she replied: “don’t you know grandma is dying, she’s really sick.”

Now we’re inside of some kind of church. Grandma is in and out of conscious now while sitting on a high-raised pew in the back. I was holding her, tring to comfort her. Next to us, there’s an older man holding on to a younger girl in maybe her 20′s. All of a sudden this mob looking guy in a black suit came out of nowhere and started throwing a fit. He was really angry and I seemed to know him (I can’t really describe his face). I yelled at him to go away, and he laughed in my face, “you can’t come here and tell ME to go away, this is my place.” I looked in my purse and pulls out a box of matches, and challenged him, “oh yeah? Aren’t you afraid of this? I can burn this place down!”

He looked shocked and concerned, but then he ripped the box of matches from my hands. He took one, lit it, and held it in front of me as he threatened, “no, I have body, but so do you. I have hair and so do you.” He starts to put the lit match on my grandmother’s limp hand, and I freak out.. “WHAT THE FREAKS IS WRONG WITH YOU!!” I try to move his strong hand away from my grandma and he scoffs. Too late, the match left a burn mark on my grandmother’s hand. Then, thankfully, he left. The girl in her 20′s that sat next to us is also really weak as she leaned next to the older man (presumably her dad). She looked up and said, “yeah, he comes in once in awhile to torture us.”

I sat there so angry, but also so helpless. Grandma wakes up slightly, and asks, “how come those people are just standing up there in front of the stage?” I looked up and saw that at the very front of the room (sanctuary?) there were a couple of guys from church standing around, they seemed relaxed.. I only recognized Tim and Taft.

I asked my grandma how she’s feeling, she didn’t answer. Then after a few moments, she whispered, “I talked to God”. It was unexpected. I asked her what He told her, and she answered, “I am his beautiful daughter”. I teared up and held her tightly in my arms, I told her things are going to be alright.

I woke up crying.

//Random explanations.

- I was actually planning to sleep from 5:30 until Wed Prayer Meeting tonight.
- I threw a box of matches in my purse for small group yesterday so that we could light the candle for Oliver’s birthday.
… And the rest, I’m really not sure.

But the message is pretty clear: stop sleeping, wake up and pray for grandma so she can have that conversation with God. Why am I so lazy, why do I lose the fervor to pray for her… gotta keep that burn mark image in my head and praypraypray.

I had a dream..

After Lock-In this past weekend, I had the most random dream.

I was riding the subway with a bunch of people, and somehow got into an intense discussion about dogs? //sidenote – I’ve always wanted a dog as a pet. I would want a big dog, like a golden retriever or a lab. A dog’s a (wo)man’s best friend, right? :)

Anyway, in my dream, my ex-boyfriend basically called me out on the fact that I want a dog as a pet. I was so upset that he disagreed about a dog being a good pet. In response, he said,

“It’s a sin to have a pet. The only reason you want a pet is so that they’d be loyal to you. They’d never leave you because you’d always feed them and for that, they will worship you and love you. You just want to be worshiped.”

What in the world. I don’t even know if that is biblical, but I woke up really sad. Please interpret..